Sex is a physical activity, but there’s also a lot of mental processes that goes into it. Letting your imagination run wild before sex can greatly enhance the physical sensation and make for a richer overall experience.
For many people, it is very common to fantasies as it makes sex a lot more fun and playful—especially since you aren’t bound by the restriction reality places on you. While a lot of fantasies aren’t too different from what one experiences in their current sex life, some can be a swift departure from anything the individual has ever done.
“For example, many women have so-called rape fantasies, in which (typically) a man is so overcome with desire for her that he can’t stop himself from having his way with her,” said psychologist, Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA in a report.
“There are lots of reasons why a woman (or a man) would find this arousing, yet almost no one actually wants to have sex without consent.”
According to a study by Cadell titled Loveology Sexual Compatibility Survey, data was obtained from thousands of participants and it was discovered that the most popular fantasies include, oral sex, threesomes, voyeurism, exhibitionism, submissive/domination play, sexual massage, random sex, outdoor sex, and sex tapes. In fact, there are over a million different fantasies that exist, but once it is safe, legal and consensual then it is perfectly okay.
Here are a few common fantasies and how to safely explore them:
1. Submission/Domination Role Play (BDSM)
For a lot of people fantasizing about domination and submissive role play can be a huge turn on, awakening a whole new part of their sexuality.
“I encourage exploration of BDSM [bondage, dominance and submission, sadomasochism] for couples,” said sex expert Ava Cadell in a report.
“People are eager to discover new roles for themselves and exchange power in sexy and safe way.”
However, to safely explore this fantasy the most important thing is to develop a strong level of trust and communication between you and your partner. Before you go all 50 Shades of Grey with your partner, it’s advisable to develop a ‘safe word’, and talk extensively beforehand about what the dos and don’ts are.
“If it involves a build up to pain, always create a signal or ‘safe word’ which means STOP,” says relationship therapist Rob Peach.
For first timers, you can always begin things at a simple and slow pace and then increase intensity much later—what important is that you both feel comfortable.
2. Voyeurism
According to statistics from the porn industry, an estimated 80 percent of pornographic material is viewed by men alone, and the single most accurate predictor of voyeuristic traits is frequent view of porn. This goes to show that quite a number of people fantasize about spying on other people having sex.
However, it is completely inappropriate and illegal to record or spy on non-consenting adults secretly. But then, you can easily visit voyeur house and explore your healthy sexual fantasies with fellow consenting adults. The Voyeur House is an adult project that offers unique services, giving users the opportunity to legally observe other people’s private life 24/7—with cameras that stream live round the clock, unscripted, and uncut.
3. Threesomes
Having a threesome is quite common fantasy, as it can equally be a means of living out other more specific fantasies.
For some, threesomes could be a way to fulfill the fantasy of watching their partner have sex or being watched by their partner having sex with someone else. For others, it could be just experience sex with multiple partners at the same time. Whatever your motives may be, threesomes can be an amazing way to experience heightened fun and explore your sexuality.
Whether you’re single or you have a partner, its important to have a detailed conversation with your fellow participants away from the bedroom and ahead of time. Speaking to each other about each of your boundaries and comfort levels should be inclusive
“A couple can create their own personal ‘rules’ around the experience, such as no penetration, or no kissing, or the third party cannot sleep over…it’s up to the couple to design their ultimate threesome that won’t jeopardize the relationship,” says Cadell.
