That’s right. I said it. You can easily spice up your own relationship with voyeurism. Here’s how.
Look, it may not be something that we shout from rooftops, but women enjoy watching other people have real sex. You can’t tell me that when Brad and Angelina tear each other apart in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, that you don’t get a little buzz in the panty department. Or that incredible scene in Black Swan when Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman finally give into their more primal urges, you can’t tell me that you didn’t pay attention. Don’t even get me started on when we watched 50 shades of grey…
While we may not go gaga over your standard porn films, women still enjoy watching other people have sex. We read erotic fiction and steamy romance novels; we watch movies that are filled to the gills with dreamily lit, soft-core sex scenes. It’s no less voyeurism than guys surfing RedTube for their little naughty viewing session. It’s just something that we don’t ever seem to mention to our partners. If you feel like your sex life may have taken the inevitable nose dive into marital normalcy, it may be time to spice things up- and we ask you- can voyeurism spice up your relationship?
Voyeurism at a Glance
Humans are natural voyeurs. We watch other people do everything we wish we were doing in our lives: from travel pictures across Instagram feeds, to recipes and kitchen etiquette on Pinterest, tutorials on knitting, and superheroes fighting the villains. We watch EVERYTHING. It’s a large part of how the human brain learns new skills and even how to interact with its surroundings.
So, from this perspective, it makes total sense- want to spice up your relationship? Watch other people spice up theirs.
How to Approach the Subject of Voyeurism
I’m not saying that you should jump up and download a bunch of hardcore porn to have a steamy night in with your lady, but perhaps voyeurism is a subject you should cautiously approach. Start with gauging your woman’s reaction to some of the more sensual chick flicks. There’s an impressively long list of lady friendly movies that are brimming with sexy scenes to get her mind roaming, my personal suggestion is Oliver Stone’s Savages, but I’m a die hard romantic in that way…
At any rate, pop in a socially acceptable skin flick to figure out how she responds to voyeurism in its infancy. If she looks like she’s paying attention, you’ve found yourself a keeper.
Voyeurism Isn’t Creepy at all
Just because you’re watching someone else get down and dirty, doesn’t mean that you’re hiding in their bushes anymore. With thousands of online pornography sites, and even sites that are focused on voyeurism specifically (such as the Voyeur House website), there is an agreeable format for you and your partner to watch other people get it on from the comfort of your own home.
Many cities throughout the world also have swingers or sex clubs, if you feel like yourself and that lucky someone are in the market for something a little more hands on…
As society continues to explore and normalize it’s own sexuality, we will continue to see better, and more appropriate, access to the things that each of us find sexually stimulating.
The Difference between Porn and Voyeurism
Alright guys- stick with me here. For us ladies, there is a HUGE, cavernous divide between porn and standard voyeurism. Porn is completely unrealistic for us. We know they’re actors, the plot is shit, and honestly- no one goes ass to mouth.
That being said, actual voyeurism is much more comfortable for most of us because we can relate to the people that we’re watching. Just like epic sex scenes in some of the most romantically thrilling movies catch our attention, so does watch normal, everyday people, get it on. This is because there’s nothing to live up to. There’s no script, there’s no shitty plot line. It’s just two people, living their regular lives – little different from our own- that somehow come together in their spare time. And it’s fucking beautiful. Honestly – if Heather can figure out how to suck off her man and have a decent orgasm after six loads of laundry, the dishes, and dropping the kids off at the sitter, we just might be able to, too. And this familiarity is exactly how voyeurism can spice up your own relationship.